Seinfeld: The Top 10 Memorable Seinfeld Quotes Ten Years On.
Posted: Thursday, July 12, 2007
by Ben Jones
Too-Write!
For a show about nothing, Seinfeld certainly provided an awful lot of laughs and some very funny quotes. In honour of Seinfeld's upcoming 10th year off the air here are...
The Top 10 Memorable Seinfeld Quotes
1. "Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm askin'. This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny."- George to Jerry, in "The Visa" - Seinfeld Sitcom2. "I'd rather be dating the blind. You know, you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her."
- George to Elaine, in "The Wink" - Seinfeld Sitcom
3. "Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off."
- Elaine, in "The Movie" - Seinfeld Sitcom4. "George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations."
5. "If I owned a company, my employees would love me. They'd have huge pictures of me up on the walls and in their home, like Lenin."
- George, in "The Trip" - Seinfeld Sitcom
6. "I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."
- George, testing the housekeeper's lack of English, in "The Old Man" - Seinfeld Sitcom8. "The key to eating a black and white cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet, still, somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie. All our problems would be solved."
- Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Dinner Party" - Seinfeld Sitcom
9. "Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over."
- Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Voice" - Seinfeld Sitcom
And…
10. "See, now to me, that button is in the worst possible spot. The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's land".
- Jerry to George, the very first line of the first episode and the final line of the final episode of the award winning show "Seinfeld".
Ben, I just read your article on Seinfeld. I'm a Seinfeldaholic! That is my alltime favorite show. I was smiling and laughing at my computer desk after reading your article. I remember all those episodes. I can't believe it's been off the air ten years already but when I think about it sure enough it has! Thanks for making me smile this morning! Jon WegnerHi Jon, I catch the odd episode on cable now and then and they still make me laugh. Your comment made me look over my article and realize that I hadn't included a Kramer quote (for shame!) so let's remedy that now: Kramer to Jerry: Well I'd been swimming for three hours and I was in a real groove so I decided to keep going. But at ten they start the aqua-aerobics Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine... Regards, Ben.
Seinfeld, my all time, Numero Uno favorite television show, comedy or otherwise. I must have seen every episode at least four times, some more. I dare say when I stopped watching Seinfeld reruns, I stopped watching television altogether.Elaine: "Maybe the dingo ate your baby"Jerry: "So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?"Elaine: "Dumb and lazy I understand."Soup Nazi: "No soup for you!"Jerry: "Do women know about shrinkage?"Jerry: "it's like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it, it's too risky, you get a glimpse of it then you turn away"
