Page 2 of comments on Childbirth Is a Miracle; So Quit Complaining About the Pain!
by Ben Jones
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Loved the humor in your article. Thanks for sharing.Linda DHi Linda, thanks for reading and commenting on my article.Have a great day,Ben.
Very hysterically funny,well written and so true that it hurts! IT HURTS! Birthing experiences for women, have been described in pain terms as analogous to men trying to pass cantaloupes. And it's also been said too many times that if men had to give birth there'd be no babies,for the pain, but on the contrary,it's precisely men's insistent and perennially high sex drive that is responsible for the high world population;if all the babies being born depended solely on woman's being in the mood,with her (comparatively)low sex drive ,there'd be no crowds on Earth during rush hour. Nice job ;I laughed all the way through;Paul SchroederHi Paul, I think you're correct, there would be lots more babies in the world if men were the ones who had them. We're not as good with that thing they call foresight or that other thing called restraint. Still we'd be keeping the doctors nice and aff luent with the sudden increase in caesareans.Cheers,Ben.
This is truly hilarious! I immediately thought about murder when I read the title but you should be allowed to live a little longer--to write another one of these article. Wonderful!Hi Peggy, very, very glad you'll let me live a little bit longer. Now if you can just convince my wife of the same, everything will be peachy. :)Cheers,Ben.
Excellent work, Ben, especially with the title. I couldn't avoid reading it - thinking "this guy must be nuts." :-)Very funny.
Thanks for sharing.
CrystalHi Crystal,Thanks for the comment on my article and for reading on despite your doubts about my sanity! :)Have a great day,Ben.
Funny stuff, Ben. For the record, when all is said and done, I think guys still get the better end of the deal. ;-)DebiHi Debi,You know there is one thing that guys have to put up with that women don't. It's a pretty big chip at the poker table of life and I think it swings the balance back towards us poor guys as being the hard luck cases of the universe. That thing is "wives"! :)Have a great day,Ben.
Ben,This was so good! Be thankful you were there to experience the pain. The first time around, my husband was studying for a concert he would be conducting later that evening and for the 2nd, he slept in the waiting room.Hi Nancy,I am thankful for the experience because it makes me aware of just how lucky my wife is to have me. *grin*Have a great day,Ben.
Hilarious! This is so insightful from a man's perspective. I cannot figure out why you said women just are not very sympathetic creatures. I have to scratch my head on that one!IyaboHi Iyabo,I'm very glad I was able to give you a glimpse into the world of men.We're a simple lot really; incredibly gifted, intelligent, sauve, cool under pressure, and down right wonderful, granted, but nonetheless simple.Cheers,Ben.
In South Africa, after you pushed the melon through your bleeding, inverted fingers you will have a tired medical intern in a poorly lit room stitching you back together.Great article. I enjoyed it immensely. Puta smile on my face despite reading it on Monday.Hi Thoriso, thanks for the comment on my article and for the insight into giving birth in South Africa. I think if I ever give birth I'll head your warning and do it in another country.P.S. You should try reading it on a Wednesday. :)
Thanks for sharing Ben. I will be praying for you however, as you have effectively stepped on the third rail of gender relations --- hence the smell of burnt flesh:) As a Daddy veteran (25, 21, 20 & 8), I've learned three simple rules:1. Shut-up if your feet aren't swelling; if your bladder is being squeezed, from the inside, by another human being; if your hormones don't have the possibility of being as unpredictable as the Incredible Hulk's.2. As a man you have already lost the PR battle - where are your daddy-varicose veins? Where are your daddy-stretchmarks (not I-haven't-exercised-in-3-years stretchmarks)? Mothers have a ready-made atlas for every push, contraction or incision to show their children --- which is usually combined with the memory of a PhD historian.3. Smile. Don't laugh, don't joke... just SMILEThanks again for this clever and brave (or should I say suicidal?) read!All the prayers, well wishes and very large donations of money you can spare would come in handy now that I'm on the run...
Ben, oongratulations on the birth of your child. I am not a parent, but I appreciate the article. If you want other couples to join the parent club, you might want to keep the truth under lock and key. I think it is better to go into it totally naive. Baptism by fire.Thanks Deana!I agree, not knowing you're about to waddle wet footed into the day/night from hell is always best.
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